Piggy Eats My Butt
If little piggy wants to beg me to use it as my ashtray then piggy is going to actually get used as my ashtray. That includes disposing of my ash and cigarette butt properly. Do I really need to state this? Yes, that means my burning butt gets squashed on its tongue and it swallows whatever is left. I don’t smoke with any other ashtray in the room, and I’m certainly not going to drop it on my floor. I don’t smoke all that much, but I’m sure my little piggy will have a stomach full of butts in no time. Cuts down on the cost of feeding it anyway!